


Ghosts of Our Pasts

by FaithySummers



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: American Revolution, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, F/M, Family, Fights, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lies, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28768746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaithySummers/pseuds/FaithySummers
Summary: When the world comes down around you what do you do? How do you face the ghosts of your past? John Laurens and Alexander must do exactly that when they realize that for many years they had been lied to. They have to figure out how to continue their lives when hurtful truths come out that could cost them everything.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Theodosia Prevost Burr, Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, George Washington/Martha Washington, John Barker Church/Angelica Schuyler, Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler/Stephen Van Rensselaer (1764-1839)
Kudos: 4





	Ghosts of Our Pasts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my loves. I know I have been gone a while and I apologize. I have had a lot of life stuff going on that basically killed my muse, but I finally have found my muse again with Hamilton! I am so excited to share some stories with you. Lin Manuel Miranda is a genius and I'm so glad that he allows us to play in his sandbox.

**Ghosts of Our Pasts**

**Chapter 1 - Spirits of Thunderstorms**

"God he's so pretentious!" Jefferson exclaimed, throwing down his satchel by his desk causing his aide, John Laurens to look up from where he was writing. His wet coat hung on the rack by the door, creating a puddle on the hardwood floor. 

"Who would that be this time, Mr. Jefferson?" John Laurens knew how much people tended to quickly get on Jefferson's nerves and how quick he was to explode back. It reminded him of another man...he stopped his thinking there as a spike of pain pummeled his chest. A crack of lightning split the sky lighting up the room more than it was, causing it to cast some eerie shadows.

"Mr. Secretary of Treasury, Alexander Hamilton! You wouldn't believe how he..." Jefferson's voice rang with loathing, but John couldn't even find it within himself to say anything. He knew he must look a fright by how Jefferson's face changed when he looked upon his aide. The rumbling thunder seemed to match his plummeting mood.

"Laurens are you alright?" Jefferson walked toward him as if he were a deer that would spring away at any moment. John sure felt that way. 

"That...that's not possible...not possible…" his words came between gasping breaths. 

"Uh, why not? Pretty sure I had to deal with the loud-mouthed bother." Jefferson started clearly confused. 

"He...he's dead. He was…" John choked on his words as his eyes filled with tears. Why was this ghost coming back to haunt him? He had spent many nights and days crying and fighting to get over his lost love. "was killed...at...at Yorktown." The tears silently crept down his cheeks as great shuddering sobs wrecked his small frame. 

"Well I don't know who told you that, but I can guarantee you he is alive and living here in New York." Jefferson shrugged annoyed by the small man that was Hamilton. 

"I…I have to go...I have to see him. I thought they'd all forgotten about me." John dashed out the door into the pouring rain and grabbed a horse who had yet to be untacked. He dashed like a wild man stopping only once to ask for the Hamilton's before riding on. 

The Hamilton household was filled with laughter and delight as Angelica who was 5 and Philip who was 8 scampered around the house playing as Little James slept up in the nursery, he would be 2 the following month. Alexander held his wife as they sat in the kitchen overseeing the cooking dinner when a sudden loud persistent knock came at the door. 

"I can get the door if you wouldn't mind taking the roast out of the oven." Eliza's eyes shone with love and devotion. 

"I would be happy to, my beautiful wife." He replied kissing her nose and lips before she sauntered out of the room. He had just set the roast on the stovetop and turned off the oven when a scream reached his ears. 

"Alexander!" He raced to his frightened wife taking her in his arms before looking upon the stranger who stood in his doorway. Who he saw there nearly stopped his heart. It couldn't be possible, could it? Yet, there stood John Laurens in the flesh soaked to the bone from the prevalent rain. So caught up in the distraction that had just emerged before them, none of them noticed the hush that had fallen over the house or the whimpers of a baby beyond.

"J...John." Alexander looked as though he himself had seen a ghost. 

"It's me Alex. May I come in?" John was confused at Alexander's reaction. 

"But...but you're...you're...d...dead. Your dad…" Alexander was in tears as was Eliza and it was at that moment that John understood why he hadn't heard from his friends in years. He knew his father had hurt his friends just as much as he had been hurt. 

"Oh Alex...Eliza...no...no I'm here...I'm alive. I'm so sorry my father must have written to you as he did to me. I believe you were d...dead all these years Alex and that Eliza hated me. If I had known...god I'm so sorry." John cried as he choked out the god awful words. They tasted like poison in his mouth. It was Eliza who moved first to grab John and pull him to the house and into a hug. Alex stood, still in shock, unable to get his body to move and embrace his friend. 

"We are so glad you're safe John. You have been missed around here." John kissed Eliza's forehead at her words drawing her in closer to himself neither of them seeming to care how wet he was. In the next moment, Alex surrounded them both in a hug and they all fell to their knees crying and holding onto each other like their very lives depended upon it. 

It was a few moments before a soft voice cut across the reunion. "Momma are you alright?" It was Angelica who stood in front of Philip. Her precious children. 

"Everything is fine my darlings. Did you need something?" The three rose from the floor, Eliza breaking away to greet the children. 

"James was crying, but we settled him. He's still awake in his bed though." It was Philip who had answered. Her sweet, brave, strong boy.

"Thank you my dearests. Why don't you go get washed up for dinner and I'll go grab your little brother?" They both nodded and branched off to do as they had been told. They had been blessed with the best children. "Alex you should take John up and help him get dried off and changed into something warmer. He'll be lucky if he doesn't catch a cold as wet as he is." Alex nodded and dragged John to the stairs ascending them behind his wife. He stopped on the landing and turned to whisper in his wife's ear before she could make her way into the nursery. 

"I'll grab you something and bring it here for you to change into. You're just as wet as I am." She looked at herself only to notice that Alex was correct. 

"Thank you, Love." She brushed her lips against his before disappearing from sight. 

"You are adorable. Now help me find your room so I can change. I don't think your darling wife will be happy to have to clean up puddles from my dripping clothes and she needs a new outfit as well, I'll have to apologize for getting her wet." Alexander laughed at his friend, his brother. 

"I've missed you so John. I'm sure she doesn't mind, but she will be waiting. Come along." Alexander led John to his room and found some clothes that might fit him. In all honesty, they might have been clothes left from when Lafayette visited them last. He pulled out outfits for himself and his darling wife as well. Eliza's perfume floated up to his nose causing him to smile. He turned to offer John the clothes he had found for him, but what he saw stopped him in his tracks and made his face fall in a frown. John had stripped out of his clothes and his frame was so skinny, to the point Alex could count his ribs. 

"John, you haven't been eating right have you?" Alexander wasn't accusing, just saddened. 

"I haven't been able to eat right since I lost you." His head hung in shame, looking heartbroken and despondent. Alex touched his arm gently, trying to comfort John and remind him that this was real.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. Grief affects us in the worst ways. I locked myself away from my family for a while. I barely ate or slept. It took Eliza telling me she was expecting again to break me out of it. I had to be here for my daughter." He handed John the clothes. "Here, change into these, and then we will get a good meal into you. I've missed you, John. I...I love you." Alex walked away, but just before he closed the door to the room he heard a soft whisper. 

"I love you too Alex." 

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone else rocking out to Hamilton? C'mon admit it you have at least one song stuck in your head right now. Which one is it? Let me know in the comments. 
> 
> Leave me a comment, hit that kudos button, and don't forget to follow and bookmark so you don't miss any upcoming content from me.  
> As always my faithful readers,  
> With Love,  
> Faithy 💜


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